Here’s a little known fact: when people say they’re living the dream, the dream is, of course, hands-free masturbation.
You, too, can live the dream! Here are our five favorite hands-free masturbation techniques for people with vaginas. Feel free to improvise as you see fit, but make sure you’re staying safe and using your best judgement. No one wants to end up on Sex Put Me in the ER.
As many young girls come to discover, there’s a reason their moms have detachable shower heads. If you have one, find a setting that feels good on your skin. You may have to go easy at first and then increase the pressure. This can also be used to stimulate your anus, nipples, or other erogenous zones on your body.
Even if you don’t have a detachable shower head, you can still run up your water bills for the endless pursuit of self-gratification. Position yourself under your faucet and let the water run over your clitoris. It may feel a little weird at first because of the positioning, just make sure to be aware of the drain– if it has a knob on it, wrap it in a wash cloth to keep from a painful distraction. Also, be sure of the water level if the drain is blocked by the stopper or your body. You may have to position yourself with your head up.
Jacuzzi jets are another way to get off using water jets. Position yourself in front of one in your favorite pool or hot tub and let the water do the work. For some fun with a partner, have them control the pressure of the jets at their whim.
One of the best parts about using water to masturbate is that you can control the temperature. Sometimes, I like to switch between warm and cold for some extra, shocking stimulation.
I’ve never tried this one personally because I have the balance of a shishi odoshi fountain. But I have many friends who swear this technique got them started down the long road of self pleasure.
Sit with one leg folded in as far as you can go, then press your heel into your crotch. You should be able to rock your body back and forth and give you labia and clitoris some friction. Some people claim that this feels better when wearing a pair of light, cotton panties or some thin pajama bottoms.
Alternatively, put a toy between your feet, like our 6″ Realistic Black Dildo. For added security, this one has a suction cup that can be secured in the bath tub, or on a non-carpeted floor.
Along with detachable shower heads, pillows are often the first thing young people with vaginas learn to masturbate with.
The basics of it go like this:
1. Find a pillow.
2. Place pillow between your legs.
3. Hump that pillow like a windup toy that got caught in the carpet and fell over.
Really, it seems pretty easy, doesn’t it? But as with most masturbation techniques, you’ll have to experiment to find out what works best for you. Do you like soft or firm pillows? Did you find that wearing underwear makes it more comfortable or are you content to go bare? Only time and lots of practice will tell.
You can even use a pillow to aid the stimulation from other toys. Fold it in half and place your favorite dildo, like our Glass Gem Emerald between the folds, then ride it to your heart’s content.
The pillow treatment can be expanded to other objects as well– doors, mattress edges, couch cushions, bath tubs.
Thighs On The Sly
This one may not be as intense as some of the others, but it’s a great way to get off in public if you can’t dash to the bathroom. Cross your legs tightly, then alternate your thighs back and forth. This will provide pressure on your labia and clitoris, and the rubbing will give it friction. You may not have a squirting orgasm from this, but it can be enough to relieve some significant tension.
From vibrating panties to riding toys, there are all kinds of ways to get off with minimal effort and still using toys.
For instance, we carry the Vibratex Snugglepuss, a flexible vibrator which wraps itself right up against your clitoris for instant, hands-free stimulation. It can even be pulled apart and inserted to stimulate the G-spot the clitoris at the same time.
Suction cup dildos and vibrators are another attractive idea. Our iRide from Doc Johnson eliminates the need to potentially dangerous or slippery surfaces you’d need for that suction cup for. You can ride it in a bed or on the floor, and not only does it provide the awesome rocking motion of a partner, but it even has two bullet vibrators– one in the clitoral bump and the other in the dildo.
Of course, the crowning jewel in our hands-free toy line up is the Sybian.
It may be crazy expensive, but those of our customers who have one swear that it’s worth every penny. This toy can even be used with the aid of a partner– have them control the movement of the vibrators, or ride the Sybian while pleasuring your partner on the bench. Even if you’re riding it alone, our Sybian owners swear they’ll never spend another dime on another toy– which may actually save them in the long run. Splitting the cost with a partner is another great way to relieve the cost a little.