The 5 Best Dildos for Size Queens

Here at Spicy Gear, we love toys and genitals of all shapes and sizes– and don’t consider one size to be better than another. That being said, sexually satisfying a size queen can certainly take some extra oomph in the size department. Never fear, lovers of ample proportions and immense insertables– we’ve made it super easy on you by vanquishing the puny contenders and selecting the top five best dildos for size queens:

5. The 12” Bendable Destroyer


If you like ‘em long, smooth, and flexible– the 12” Bendable Destroyer will get you in the groove. Made specifically for anal, this slick shaft and balls are made from Sil-A-Gel, and harbors a hidden armature wire, which allows for ease of repositioning and angling for optimal G-Spot contact. Pair it with water-based WET Uranus lube for the safest and most anal-riffic session ever!

4. The ManHandler


Want a dildo that handles like a weapon, even when your hands are covered in lube? You need the almost intimidatingly massive ManHandler. Easy to grip, and available in either black or white, this take-charge dildo with a 9.25” insertable shaft with a police baton-like handle makes this Sil-A-Gel, veined dong perfect for BDSM powerplay and role reversal (or for pegging when no strap-on is available– as this item can be gripped in-between strong thighs).

3. The Adam Dexter Dildo


Like dem colossal curves, do ya? Get your behemoth-bend on with the Adam Dexter Dildo and delight in the hands-free might! Made from waterproof latex, with a suction-cup base, this arched black beauty is ideal for those who need a bit of an angle for direct G-Spot stimulation. Size wise, it’s not as long as others on this list, but the titanic girth and glorious curve secured its spot at number three. It has a 8.5” insertable length by a 6.75” girth, and it even comes with a fancy fabric carrying bag.

2. The John Holmes Realistic Dildo


Larger than life? Nope! Minus the suction cup base, the height of realism has been achieved in this accurately sized replica (12” long by a 5” base circumference) of John Holmes’ enormous erection. Complete with a pink-tinted head, veins and a special multi-layered texture (which mimics a real hard-on by offering a squishier outside layer atop a rock hard material), when you feel this toy, you’ll be aching to give this giant, is-this-for-real bone a new home.

1. The Dick Rambone Dildo


This, “OMG, this could split me in two,” (14.5” long by 8” base circumference) realistic dildo is an exact replica of Dick Rambone’s (a prominent porn star from the 1980’s) famously gargantuan balls and shaft. It comes in otherwise identical black and white versions, both of which have a mighty suction cup for tub, shower, floor or wall mounting capabilities for hefty hands-free action. Hint: lightly wet the suction cup for the best adhesion.

What makes this dildo so great? It’s not just the immense size, it’s the sheer weight. This humongous dong is extremely substantial, and it’s just as heavy and mighty as the real deal, weighing in at a full three pounds, which definitely enhances the overall experience.

Another fantastic quality is the detailed veins, which are hand-painted in the United States by the toy experts at Doc Johnson. Made from a porous, antibacterial and cadmium-free Sil-A-Gel material, this dildo is phthalate-free and non-latex, and needs to be cleaned with toy cleaner and fully dried before storage in order to keep it safe and looking and smelling like new.

For the safety and longevity of your newly beloved Rambone, we recommend only using water-based lubes, like Pjur Woman Aqua (read our review here), as silicone-based lubes may negatively interact with the Sil-A-Gel and cause degradation of the material. Learn more about lubes and their interaction with toys here.

10 thoughts on “The 5 Best Dildos for Size Queens

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