How-To: Have Great Sex after Menopause

Menopause is a time of transition, both for those who are going through these hormonal changes themselves as well as for their sexual partner(s). But is it still possible to have great sex after menopause? Yes. Yes, it is. Here’s how!


Alterations in self-image, mood, libido and vaginal moisture are all completely normal and typical parts of menopause and should not cause undue alarm or panic. You’re sex life is not over. I repeat. Not over.

Just like during puberty, the mind and body are adjusting to a new phase of life via adjustment to a new level of hormones. Having great sex can take education and planning at any life stage, and menopause is no different. Certain simple adjustments can be made to ensure you and your partner(s) have the best shot at having the best sex possible.

My number one recommendation? Drastically increase lubrication. I’m talkin’ copious amounts here, folks. Without adequate, naturally-produced vaginal moisture, things just don’t feel as pleasantly sexy as they once did. Plus, when dry, the vaginal canal is more susceptible to ripping or tearing, leaving both parties at increased risk for STD and STI transmission.

Speaking of which, senior citizens account for a decent percentage of STD rates, so even though pregnancy may not be an issue after menopause, your health is still very important and barrier methods should still be used for all sex acts. Oral dams offer protection during cunnilingus and anilingus, latex and nitrile gloves are ideal for manual sex, flavored condoms work perfectly for fellatio and male or female condoms are vital for safer vaginal and anal sex.

And, since a lack of lubrication will lead to barrier breakage at any age (the heat from dry friction causes latex and non-latex condoms to overheat and rip), lubing up after menopause is even more essential for protection than it ever was before. For this reason, it’s safer to use silicone-based lubes after menopause, as they have the most staying power and last the longest. Try pairing them with a silicone-lubricated condom for the most slide for your ride. And, don’t just apply the lube to the vulva. It needs to go where the action is happening– inside.

As much as I love silicone-lubricated sex in the sea, I also suggest staying above water for PIV sex as shower, hot tub, pool and bath-time fun can turn even the most soaking wet and supple vagina into a tubular raisin within minutes, and reapplication of lube whilst submerged can be a bit tricky. Like the feeling of the water? Try standing in the shallow end or laying back down on the edge of the water, with your partner still in the blue depths.

Here are the staff favorite silicone-based lubes here at Spicy Gear:

If stopping the action to fumble for your lube in the dark isn’t your bag, K-Y brand recently released an insertable ovule which is not a lubricant per say, but a vaginal moisturizer. Unlike lube, it is a time release capsule which provides condom-safe vaginal moisture for up to four days at a time. When it runs out, simply put in a new one. This product can allow for more spontaneity and is ready when your the mood strikes. Read about my experience with it in this K-Y Liquibeads review.

One thought on “How-To: Have Great Sex after Menopause

  1. Pingback: Lube Review: WET Silk | Spicy Gear

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