Five Ways to Dress Up Vaginas and Vulvas

Yes, vaginas and vulvas are incredibly beautiful on their own.


And, the astonishingly wide variety of XX chromosome genitals out there is quite mesmerizing. Take a moment and appreciate the fascinating variety and gorgeous sea of labias and clits there are in the world.

Some people prefer the look and feel of elongated labia or macro clits, while others prefer small and compact genitals which resemble a credit card slot. Whatever kind of vulva you have and/or prefer others to have, one thing is for sure– they’re all great in their natural state.

But, what about those special occasions when you want to dress up your or your partner’s vulva for a party? Here are the top five ways to dress up vaginas and vulvas:

5. Genital Piercings/Dermal Implants


As I’ve previously mentioned, genital piercings can add a spicy element to the bedroom, both visually and tactilely, but they can also easily compromise the safety of dental dams and condoms and can take a long time to heal properly. So, be sure you read up on how to avoid STDs and other infections if you or your partner has a genital piercing. For a complete and comprehensive guide to the wide variety of female piercings, I recommend checking out The Piercing Bible website (NSFW). Dermal implants are less likely to impact safer sex (once they are healed) and are essentially a way to permanently vajazzle yourself with sparkly studs.

4. Liquid Latex


Painting a design on a vulva is great fun, whether you self-decorate or make a masterpiece on your partner’s junk. Liquid Latex is super fun, it feels fantastic and it peels off in the shower when you’re over it. Plus it comes in blue, purple and red– so you can have your pick, or create a custom tricolored masterpiece. Great for those who love that second skin feeling of latex, but it should be avoided by anyone with a latex allergy (obviously).

Simply paint it on with a foam brush and let it air dry. A few coats may be needed for total opacity. My only word of advice is– be sure it doesn’t get applied anywhere with hair (see #2 below for suggestions on getting that area as smooth as silk, before application). Read my “Product Review: Maximum Impact Liquid Latex” for more helpful hints!

3. Non-Invasive Jewelry


In the same vein of the current body harness trend, non-invasive vulva jewelry can also be very titillating. Basically, it’s a beautifully crafted necklace for your vajayjay. Visit a bead shop and make your own custom design, or buy a pre-made clitoral clamp or clit clip (it’s very similar to a nipple clamp). They are a unique blend of jewelry and lingerie, and make a great gift or accessory for a special occasion.

2. Pube Designs


I admit, I used to be intimidated by the idea of shaving shapes into my pubes, mainly because I am terribly nearsighted (wearing glasses in the shower is no bueno) and because I’ve had major issues with razor burn and ingrown hairs in the past. For years, I found that using a hair clipper on a short setting was a better idea for me.

Then, I discovered a ‘tattoo’ hair trimmer meant for designing intricate designs by barbers into fade haircuts. With this clipper, I made a heart, a lightning bolt, a landing strip, etc. If it doesn’t look perfect, remember, it’ll grow out. Or, you could just shave it all off if it looks too wonky to handle.

After gaining confidence in my trimmer skills, I bought some Coochy Shave Creme and this was the biggest game changer for me in the wild world of pubes. No more ingrown hairs or rashes from shaving with a razor! In fact, I loved it so much, I gave it an elusive 5 star review!

Shortly afterwards, I tried Inttimo Kitty Shave Kreme (made by WET) with very similar and awesomely smooth and non-irritated results. I wish I’d known about these two protective products many years ago. I would’ve saved my pubis from a lot of razor-related distress.

1. Merkins


Originally made from hair and designed to cleverly hide symptoms of STDs like syphilis, pubic lice and herpes, which could create unsightly sores on the vulva, merkins are now frequently made from decorative materials and used by burlesque and exotic dancers. Typically, they are highly decorative and cover the entire mons venus area of the vulva (the triangle area on the front of the body).

While the front of the merkin is bedecked out with decorative elements such as rhinestones, sequins, glitter or feathers, the back of the merkin needs to be stuck onto the skin in a secure manner to keep it from falling off. A shaved or closely trimmed pubis is ideal for this, as bare skin will let the merkin stick to the body more effectively and will cause no pain when removed (unlike the ripping out of a full bush).

Double sided tape and spray adhesives from a home improvement store can contain chemicals and can irritate the skin, so I suggest attaching your merkin with Hollywood tape (available at craft stores), which is made for fashion, or with ATG tape, an acid-free, plastic-free adhesive used in art framing (available at Custom Framing shops).

6 thoughts on “Five Ways to Dress Up Vaginas and Vulvas

  1. Pingback: Product Review: Maximum Impact Liquid Latex | Spicy Gear

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