Many get the idea of using the 69 position from watching adult films, but the reality can be a little more complicated, and sometimes far less sexy. If you want to make sure your 69 is going to be more than a D+, take a peek at these hints and tips!
Obviously, with the where the nose and mouth are positioned, you’re going to want to make sure things are relatively tidy down there. Maybe 69ing isn’t the best position for that day you had to dash out for your date without a shower, but it can make for some great post-bathtime nookie.
Remember, while you’re 69ing, that your partner will be able to see and (most likely) smell your butthole. There’s no elegant or sexy way to say it. It can be difficult to orgasm with a nose full of smelly butt (unless you’re into that, and then, by all means) but it can also be a little unhygienic. Anal douches are safer to use than vaginal ones, but even just a quick wipe between the cheeks with a baby wipe while you freshen up is a great way to make sure things are kosher down there– and kill any harmful bacteria that might escape the butt fortress.
Vulva-having folks, I understand the temptation of the douche. I do, I do. Especially when you’re looking to have someone with their nose up your posterior. But stay away! Douching is incredibly dangerous and can encourage infection– something you really want to stay away from if you’re having an unprotected mouth on your vulva.
That’s right– I said unprotected mouth. Because your mouth can transmit viruses and bacteria to the genitals just as easily. HSV-1, or cold sores, can transmit to the genitalia if you’re having an outbreak. And random bacteria from your mouth can cause infections. The best route is to use a dental dam if you’re eating out, or a condom if you’re giving fellatio. Why not even go flavored?
And bearded friends– it’s always a good idea to watch the womb broom. While the tickle can be a delight, a freshly shaved face shaken too vigorously can cause a horrifying beard burn on your partner’s genitals. Trust me on this one: no fun.
There seems to be a belief that the only possible position for a successful 69 is where someone (usually the smaller partner) is on top, ass in the air, and the other partner is on the bottom. It’s a good starting point, but some may find it uncomfortable, especially if they’re always on the bottom.
If this is too much, try lying on your side with your partner lying on their opposite side. Use pillows to prop yourself up properly so you don’t risk any neck strain.
And if you think you can handle it, there’s always the gold star, ten points to Gryffindor move: the legendary standing up 69. This may take a little extra bit of flexibility, strength, and most importantly concentration, but if you and your partner are able, it can be a new and exciting way to make love.
Have the partner who will be upside down kneel on all fours on a bed or couch, facing away from the partner who will be standing up. The standing partner should take their partners legs and place them over their own shoulders, then pull away from the bed. The upside-down partner can walk backwards off the bed until you get into the proper position or, if the standing partner is tall enough, even use the bed as support/to prevent falling. Remember, this is a grade A, 70’s porn star sex position, so don’t attempt it unless you’re ready.
- Don’t just use your mouth. Use your hands too. It can be exhausting to only do tongue work, and everyone knows that the best kinds of oral aren’t exclusively oral. You can even use toys. Penetrate your partner’s vagina with an nJoy toy while licking her clit. Use a prostate massager like the Dr. Joel Kaplan Prostate Massager on your man while you suck his dick.
- Sometimes, when your partner is doing too good of a job, it can be easy to forget your role in the action. You may need to take a break from what you’re doing to focus on your own pleasure before getting back to them– make sure your partner knows ahead of time so no one is disappointed.
- With the above point in mind, alternate bringing one another closer and closer to climax but stop short each time. Do this several times, and then go to town for an exciting and near-tantric orgasm.
- If one partner takes longer to orgasm than the other, let that partner receive pleasure first. Suggest that they take time before they begin pleasuring you to to relax and focus on their own pleasure so that they don’t become distracted once their own ministrations enter the picture.