Temperature play includes a wide variety of sexual acts– everything from blowing cool air on sensitive areas to playing with fire, literally. So, how do you know if you’re being safe? Here are some tips on the best ways to get off or get your partner off without causing lasting harm!
Cold temperature play is considered somewhat less dangerous than heat play, but that doesn’t mean it’s completely harmless.
A good way to find out if you’re craving the chill is to try out some tingling lubricant. Apply your favorite toy or genitals with WET Synergy + Cool Tingle. If it isn’t too intense and if you like the chilly feeling, feel free to further explore.
If you’re new to cold temperature play, start off small. An ice cube can be comfortably applied to the nipples or other sensitive spots with few worries. Throw a blindfold and some soft restraints like the Hog Tie Kit into the mix and treat your partner to a fun, teasing time. Just make sure you’re familiar with the safety protocols of BDSM before you go tying anyone up.
If you’re going to make your own ice dildo like our friends over at Condom Depot did, or inset ice into any orifice, you’ll need to be extra careful. When ice breaks, it can sometimes have rough edges that can cut or scratch places that aren’t meant to be cut or scratched. Wear them down with a little bit of water before moving forward with your plans. You can also prevent this by placing a condom around the ice dildo.
Additionally, some toys become a whole new level of fun when exposed to cold. Glass toys, like our favorite Glass Gem Peridot, can be placed in the freezer for an hour or so before play for a chilling treat. It’s not a great idea to keep them in there all the time though. Sometimes, it can lead to the glass cracking. Even worse, it can crack if it’s exposed to heat too quickly– such as during play. Be very careful and don’t let them stay too cold.
Metal toys, like the nJoy line, can withstand more cold temperature exposure. Just make sure that you lube them up nice and good after pulling them out of the freezer so we don’t get a tongue-on-a-flagpole situation.
For more intense play, parts of the body or the whole body can be submerged in ice or cold water for short periods of time. If this suits your fancy, remember to look for tell-tale signs of hypothermia or frostbite: blue lips, loss of feeling, loss of ability to feel cold, clumsiness or drowsiness, trouble feeling the extremities, and confusion.
Since cold play can sometimes be painful, it’s a good idea to use a safe word to prevent any accidental miscommunication. Another good indicator may be the stop light system: red means, “Stop, begin aftercare.” Yellow means, “Stop doing this thing, but let the sexytimes continue!” And green, of course, means, “Go, go, go!”
Heat play can be a little more complicated. There are many different kinds of heat play, but you’ll want to start off with something simple.
A heated lube, like WET Synergy + Warming Personal Lubricant is a great start into the world of heated play. But some women may find it uncomfortable or irritating. If you have sensitive skin, it might be something to stay away from. Otherwise, rub a little on the inside of your arm and see if you have a reaction before applying it to any sensitive areas. These lubes typically have capsaicin in them, which is the chemical that makes peppers taste so hot. It’s in a small enough amount that it won’t do any harm, but for sensitive people, it may be uncomfortable.
From there, you may want to try out the world of candle and wax play. This is a favorite of mine because it feels so damn good, but it’s not expensive or difficult to get into.
The first thing you should consider when playing with candles is the type of candle. Regular wax candles are alright, but they can burn pretty hot and some people may find that heat to be jarring and uncomfortable when they first start experimenting. Beeswax candles are a big no! The flame must be extremely hot to melt beeswax and applying that wax to your skin can be very, very dangerous.
Most candles sold in adult stores for that exact reason are made of soy. Soy candles are very soft, so it doesn’t take a lot of heat to burn them. But the other awesome thing about soy candles? The wax is so soft, it can be used as a massage oil!
Much like putting toys in the freezer, you can heat up your toys by placing them in hot water or wrapping them in hot, wet wash rags. It’s safe to do this with some glass toys (check with the manufacturer first), and even silicone toys, like our Couture Collection, can take the heat! Just make sure that they’re water-proof.
If you want to up the ante even more, research the complicated methods of certain types of heat play:
- Cupping: Air inside of the cup placed on the skin is heated up to create a suction.
- Fire play: Fuel, such as alcohol, is applied to the skin and then lit by a fire wand.
- Bouncing and streaking: Fire wands are bounced or streaked against unprotected skin.
These can be very dangerous to someone who is inexperienced, so please: don’t attempt them until you’ve either seen a demonstration or done your research. Here’s a good starter video on fire play: